Unselfish

Written oct 4, 2019

To feel your stare on me

To touch your skin with my skin

Oh what I would give.

Touch one another,

as if we were made out of glass

Look into your eyes and see all those unspoken feelings

Feening for our lips to touch

To taste once another

Having one stand so close but yet feel as if we're miles away

We can love someone so dear,

so much that we are willing to do anything and everything.

Even remove

ourselves from their life

To give them peace,

give them ease

Even if it means peace and happiness without you.

That is love 

written on 1-19-19

An Empty Room 

Tried to save you. 

I wanted to feel alive by my side. 

Broke me down as I was building you up.

Trying to save you from yourself.

I could not see how you were breaking me down.

I was trying to be your savior.

Love blinded me to see that you were too far gone.

 Too far from ever being saved. 

Lies and deceit are all you knew.

 Believed those lies

False promises you never intended to keep. 

Was that you gave in return.

I was there to catch you when you fell.

No longer alone in the darkness, you knew it consumed you.

The stronger you became was a reflection of how weak I became.

Alone I finally saw the light. 

Through all that darkness you fed me slowly was coming to life.

Suddenly, I knew you would be my end

I needed to pull away. 

Body and mind too weak somehow, I left.

I knew I would be leaving for the last time. 

I fought. 

Broke free.

too blind to see you really were, my enemy. 

I gave you life, as you destroyed mine. 

I stole my life back

took the power back that you had over me.

Today, I have not completely let you go.

Yet, I continue to live. 

You will never know me as I am today. 

 That person you destroyed is gone

I live my life. 

As you answer to God.

"I hope you suffer" by AFI, could not ever be so perfectly fitting of a song for you and I...

11/7/19

4:38pm

Music: I hope you suffer

Artist: AFI

Written by: Me

Teach me

Gave me my darkest days

I have the two last letters from you

Seemed so true and kind, couldn’t tell the monster was simply hiding

Ripped my world in shreds

There are things that I did before

but could never do once more

Somedays I crave for that poison you filled me with

Learning to dream closer to home

And love some lies

I hope you miss me more than what I been missing you

Had to torture me once more

So, you hung that nose

Didn’t say goodbye

Self portrait

When you are driving around unknown highways searching for abandon buildings this is what you find.

IRON/METAL GIANT

Once Upon A Time... I Did A Turn Around Trip To San Fransico With My Friend Ram

To live in fear

Written On: 01-01-2019
Titled: Fear of Mine

You bruised my skin

Tore into my flesh

Your teeth drew my blood

Gave me constant pain

Tortured my heart and mind

Your poison seeped into every inch of me

Your poison consumed me entirely

The point was your dark gift

Bruising and tearing my flesh

Watching the blood come out was a sign I was still alive

I wasn’t ready to die

Even if I was a shell

Draining me of my soul and spirit

The constant pain becomes like an addiction to me that kept you in your grasp

Blood and bruises were how you showed you cared in your twisted ways

Cutaway my soul

You broke me down, made me feel as if it was beyond repair

I was an empty shell so dependent on that beautiful and torturous pain that made me feel so alive

That pain is how I knew I was alive

You so selfishly decided to rip yourself away

As a final form of torture, you hung that noose.

We have to live with the choices that we made and will continue to make and acceptance of those choices and actions are what help define us as humans.