hope

 

Despite everything and everyone around me,

         the hardest thing 

 I do not want to accept 

        that the person I once was is not ever coming back. 

The world has changed, 

        I changed. 

Gave up and let my demons drown me, 

it took a long time, but I am better now. 

    At least I would like to think that I am. 

Part of me keeps trying to run from my past. 

        Sometimes I wish 

I could change it all. 

How am I suppose to be complete, 

     I gave him everything that I was. 

Every day I think of him 

    was loving him a mistake?

        I lash out at myself in my head

It becomes harder day by day. 

        You could not take my thoughts.

My thoughts repay me for the choices 

From all days of my past.

 

remember

 

Life is not over and has not been over; I need a new perspective on my life. I need to keep looking at the positive and stay focused on the little positive things, even if they are few. Those need to define my day, not the negative moments. There is more to me than what I see in myself, and the people whom I have around me need to bring the best out of me, and if they don’t, then I need to walk alone for a while. I accepted disrespect and fell into the cycle and was miserable for so long and called it living when it was dying and did not understand that and need to decide to change and not fall back to my past, to that old history that I struggled so much to leave behind. I need to believe and always remember that I am worth a lot more than what I feel at times. Nothing scares me anymore, and I have realized that scares most people, but I see it as an advantage.