How am I supposed to love myself when I never knew what love was
or what it felt like?
I lie to my self and cover up my scars, pretend, and if nothing hurts at all.
Breathing in poison just to feel alive is not a life at all.
Tell me how I can live when I do not even feel alive.
At times I try and retrace the steps that lead me to this the excuse I call life.
All the choices and mistakes I made just overwhelm me.
I can not remember how it feels like to feel something.
Do I deserve this?
I can not hold my head up simply because all my past drags
me so far down.
They say, “the truth sets you free” but it is just a fucken
lie.
It makes you feel as if you lost your mind and makes you cold.
My past has all caught up to me.
Do not know how to process the memories, thoughts, and feelings that arrive
with the memories.
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